Anti Tales
by The Mad Maiden
Summary: A collection of stories about everyone's favourite Anti-Couple. Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda.
1. Chapter 1: Sleep in Peace

Title: Sleep in Peace

Characters: Anti-Cosmo, Anti-Wanda

Prompt: 30 Sleep

Word Count: 960

Summary: Anti-Wanda finds a new room in the house

Disclaimer: Fairly Odd Parents is not owned by me

Notes: Um, here be fluff?

* * *

Anti-Cosmo was starting to get used to his wife's odd methods of looking around the house. One moment she would be sitting, quite contently examining a clock or something else that struck her fancy and the next, she'd decide that she simply had to see what was in the attic. It was a little odd but since it wasn't causing any harm he figured he could get used to it.

That's why when she showed up in his room after dinner one evening as he was pulling a book off the shelf he wasn't too surprised.

"Hello dear."

Anti-Wanda scratched her head as she looked around the room. "This ain't my room."

"No it's mine."

She glanced over at him with wide eyes. "You have a room?"

He sighed, he was positive they'd had this conversation before.

"Yes."

"Oh..." He looked over and saw that she was looking around the room. Deciding that it was safe to let her do this he turned back to the bookshelf and the book he'd pulled out before. Shaking his head he put it back and started to look again. He really needed to purchase some more books.

A few minutes later he was brought out of his search when he heard his wife speak up.

"What'cha doin?"

"I'm looking for a book to read." He replied as he continued scanning the shelves.

"What fer?"

"Entertainment."

"What?"

"Something fun, as you might say. Something to take up the rest of the evening with I suppose."

"Oh."

He had known her long enough to recognize the drop in her voice when she was sad. Looking over he saw her floating in front of his bed.

"Was there something else you'd rather I be doing?"

"Uh...I was wonderin...maybe."

"Yes?" He placed the book he'd been holding back on the shelf and floated over to where she was.

"Um...Maybe ya wanted ta' do somthin'?" Her voice dropped as he got closer and he tried to pretend he hadn't noticed. He still thought it was odd that he felt... bad... guilty even, whenever Anti-Wanda acted like this. He was used to people acting nervous around him. It shouldn't bother him that she was as well. And yet...it did.

"Of course my dear."

Anti-Wanda grinned at him and he tried to ignore the small flicker of happiness when he saw her smile at him.

She seemed to know what she wanted to do and few seconds later she had pulled a book of the shelf. Pushing it into her husband's hands and looking at him expectantly.

He wasn't sure how it had happened. They had been reading together. Well Anti-Wanda had been listening to him read, every so often throwing a question out from where she was laying on his bed about something random. After a while though the questions grew quieter and before he realized what was happening she'd fallen asleep next to him.

He waited a few minutes, just to make sure she was asleep. But when she didn't open her eyes or say anything he closed the book, he'd been getting rather tired himself. As he placed the book to the side on the bed he leaned back and then almost jumped out of his skin as an arm suddenly flayed across him. He glanced down to see Anti-Wanda, while still asleep had thrown her arm over him.

Clearly he wasn't thinking straight, as he didn't immediately shove her arm away but let it rest there as he looked down at the sleeping Anti-Fairy. She was breathing slowly, a small smile on her face even as she slept and he had to admit, if only to himself, that he did find something rather attractive about his sleeping spouse. He stifled a yawn as he pulled his gaze from Anti-Wanda and looked around the room. It was late and he should probably be getting her back to her room so he could get some sleep. Then he noticed something across the room. His wand was laying on the table next to the bookcase. He must have left it there when he'd had a book shoved into his hands. Which meant he was going to have to get up if he wanted to ...

He glanced down at the sleeping form on his bed. Her arm was still draped around him and it didn't look like she was going to be moving anytime soon. If he just...let her stay for the night? His face might have reddened slightly at his minds implications, but he quickly shooed them away. He was merely being polite, that was it. If he had to get up to go and get his wand, then he might wake her up, and a gentleman would hardly to such a thing. Besides, she was his wife. There was nothing strange about sleeping with your...he wisely decided to abandon that trail of thought and looked over at Anti-Wanda. Sleeping, unaware of his own whirling thoughts.

After a few moment of thought, wherein the only noises that could be heard from the room were the whispy breath of Anti-Wanda, he came to a conclusion.

Leaning over, doing his best not to move her arm. He moved the book onto the end table and then glanced over to where his wand was sitting, just across the room. It wouldn't take that long to get it...

However he glanced back briefly at the sleeping Anti-Fairy on his bed and sighed. It was only once anyway. It wasn't as though they were going to be making a habit... with those more comforting thoughts in mind, he turned off the light, letting the room sink into darkness and closed his eyes. Falling asleep long before he thought would be possible.


	2. Chapter 2: Just Three Words

**Title**: Just Three Words are Never Quite That Simple

**Characters**: Anti-Cosmo, Anti-Wanda, Anti-Blonda

**Prompt**: 001 Love

**Word Count**: 1459

**Summary**: Anti-Wanda was the first one to say it

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Fairly Odd Parents

**Notes**: They need more fluff, what can I say?

* * *

She had been the first one to say it. Of course she had. He found she used the word freely and without giving it much thought. Though if there was anything you could say about Anti-Wanda, it was that she was very good at giving things little thought. She was honest because she blurted out whatever was on her mind without thinking over what she was going to say. And so he'd heard her proclaim her love for various things, many times. Getting different explanations for why she did so, every time he asked. And he'd found that he always asked when she said that she loved something. He'd put it down as simple curiosity but he had to admit there might have been something else behind it as well.

And then she'd said she loved him.

It was a good thing that she hadn't noticed him there at first, because when she said it he'd frozen in place and looked at her oddly. She hadn't noticed, as it was for only a second and after that he'd managed to compose himself properly. They were in public after all and he didn't want to give the Anti-Fairies they were with the satisfaction of seeing him shaken. Not that he should be, really. It hadn't been that strange of a thing she'd said considering the situation they were in. They were married after all...

But still...

"Whatcha thinkin' about?"

Anti-Wanda looked over at her husband, who at that moment looked rather startled. He'd been leaning on his desk, staring off into the distance again. He'd been doing that a lot since they came back from the Anti-Fairies general meeting. She wasn't good at noticing things she supposed, but it was clear that something was bothering him. He was never this quiet.

"Oh...about the meeting I suppose." He adjusted his monocle and looked over at her. "I'm sorry my dear, was there something you wanted?"

"I wanted ta' know what you were think'n about." Ah, blunt as ever, he smiled at this.

"Yes I suppose you did. And as I said a few seconds ago, I was thinking about the meeting. It was quite interesting."

"Really?" Anti-Wanda looked confused. "But I heard you sayn' that it was a borin' waste o' time?"

He blinked. He had, hadn't he. Odd she remembered that.

"Well I suppose..." He wasn't sure what he was trying to do. Find a way out of saying what he was actually thinking about? Well he should have been able to come up with a better lie then-

"You ain't still mad at my sis are ya?"

And this time he was surprised.

"I say...what are you talking about? Why would I be-"

"'Cause she was talkn' mean about you." Anti-Wanda looked at him closely. "Don't you remember?"

Ah. Yes...he did. But he'd been rather distracted by what his lovely wife had said after that to be properly angry...what _had_ her sister said...

* * *

The General meeting had finished off. The meeting was held once a month and was usually just an excuse for all the Anti-Fairies to get together and complain about things. Anti-Cosmo had realized a long time ago that these meetings were pointless but at the moment he wasn't really in a position to ignore the mandatory nature of them. One day though...

His thoughts trailed off as he looked around. He was looking for Anti-Wanda, she said she was going to go and see her sister before they left and he was hoping that by now their visit was over. Anti-Blonda had made it clear she didn't like the fact he'd married her sister. Mostly due to the fact that Anti-Wanda had no choice in the matter but to be quite fair, neither did he. It was their counterparts who had fallen in love. He was starting to think he'd gotten lucky with his assigned wife though. He'd become rather...fond of her.

"I'm just saying I'm worried that's all."

"But why sis? I tolds yah-"

Ah, there she was. He turned and saw that she was still talking with her sister. He tried not to sigh and then started to fly over. They didn't seem to notice him.

Anti-Wanda was looking at her sister in confusion. A common expression for her face.

"Huh?"

Her sister sighed.

"Anti-Wanda, listen to me for just this once, please! I'm just reminding you to be careful. You know the stories about him. They say his temper is horrible and that he'll turn people into things for even lookin' at him strange!"

"But he-"

"And that he's more likely to set your house on fire then laugh at a joke"

"But-"

"I know you've been married for almost a year now but sis. You can't trust an Anti-Fairy like that! Who knows what he might do to you if you let your guard down..."

It was at this time that Anti-Cosmo was just about to cough, making them aware that he was right next to them. However he didn't get the chance to as Anti-Wanda finally managed to get a word in.

"But sis, that ain't true! And anyhow I don't hate him, I love him!"

* * *

"Anti-Cossie..." He shook his head as Anti-Wanda was waving her hand in front of his face. "Hello? You still in there?"

"Ah...yes, yes. I'm fine." He replied trying to shake away the odd feeling. "Just thinking..."

"So yur not mad at my sister?"

There was a pause as he thought for a moment. Her sisters fears were quite understandable, he'd worked quite hard to get his reputation as an Anti-Fairy not to be trifled with. However it did seem to have some drawbacks that he hadn't foreseen. He shook his head.

"No my dear, I'm not-"

He was cut off as Anti-Wanda grinned and then grabbed him into a hug.

"I'm so glad. I'd be offly sad if you were mad at my sis."

"Ah...yes...of course." There were very few times that Anti-Cosmo was at a loss for words. It seems that surprise displays of affection were one of those times.

"So what we're you think'n about then?" Anti-Wanda was still smiling as she let him go and he had to remind himself what she was talking about.

"What...oh yes...no that was nothing. Just thoughts...on things." His lies were pathetic today it seemed. It was most likely because there was something he'd like to ask her...

"Really 'cause you looked really strange like."

"I do?"

"Yeah. I mean yah always look like your thinkn' but you didn't even hear me before."

"Oh well.,.." He sighed and then took off his monocle to polish it. There was no sense beating around the bush was there? "Why did you say that?"

"Say what?"

"Say you loved me." It felt odd saying it out loud, and Anti-Cosmo wasn't sure that perhaps his cheeks weren't tinged a bit darker at the moment either. He did his best to ignore this.

"Huh?" Anti-Wanda looked confused again and for a moment he'd thought she'd forgotten about it. Then she suddenly seemed to remember.

"Oh that? Oh, I said that 'cause it's true!"

"It's true..."

"Yup." Anti-Wanda grinned at her now clearly astonished husband. "Why else would I say it?"

"I haven't the foggiest." He replied faintly.

"Is that what you were thinkin' about?" She looked suddenly nervous. "I didn't make yuh mad did I?"

"What..."

"'Cause you were lookn' real serious an-"

Anti-Cosmo put his hand on her shoulder.

"I'm not mad at you Anti-Wanda."

Her face lit up and he wondered for a brief moment if anyone else was aware of how beautiful Anti-Wanda looked when she smiled like that. His gaze was interrupted as Anti-Wanda hugged him again and he froze as she leaned against him, her chin on his shoulder

"I'm glad yur not. Cau'se I do luv yah."

"I'm quite glad as well." Was the only response he could think of at the moment and after she moved away again he realized that he wished she hadn't. But she was still smiling at him and for a moment he paused. Wasn't he supposed to say something now? He wasn't sure how these things worked...

"I suppose it would be a fair assessment to say that I...also love you. That is to say-"

He trailed off, inwardly cursing his own tongue for betraying him at the moment. However as he rubbed his hands together in what he dreaded looked like the imitation of an awkward school boy, Anti-Wanda leaned up and gave him a kiss on the check.

"Aw, you just say the sweetest things."

She might have been the first one to say it but after that, she certainly wasn't going to be the only one.


	3. Chapter 3: Toys of Evil

**Title**: Evil Toys

**Fandom**: Fairly Odd Parents

**Characters**: Anti-Wanda, Anti-Cosmo

**Prompt**: 19 Toy

**Word Count**: 456

**Rating**: K

**Summary**: Anti-Wanda brings home a surprise for their son.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Fairly Odd Parents

* * *

It was a fairly normal, miserable day in Anti-Fairy World. It was also somewhat calm in the castle overlooking the area. Somewhat, because there was always some sort of chaos going on in a castle that housed two evil geniuses and Anti-Wanda.

Anti-Wanda was at the moment poofing into a room.

"I'm home!" She grinned, looked around, and then realized there was no one else in the room. She raised her wand again.

* * *

"I'm home!"

Anti-Cosmo glances over as Anti-Wanda appeared in the room. He was sitting at a desk as their son drew on some paper on the corner.

"How many rooms was it this time dear?"

"Only four!" Anti-Wanda grinned as she flew over. "I thinks I'm gettin better!"

Anti-Cosmo shook his head but didn't say anything about it.

"Looks what I got!" Anti-Wanda held up a bag. By this time Foop was paying attention and flew over.

"Let me guess, a bag." He was looking at it curiously though.

"Nope!" As usual, Anti-Wanda didn't get the veiled comment that had just earned Foop a sharp look from his father. "I gots you a toy!"

"Really mother I don't..." Foop trailed off as Anti-Wanda shoved a toy stuffed vulture in his hands.

"Happy Birthday!"

"It's not his birthday dear." Anti-Cosmo rolled his eyes and went back to looking at his papers.

"Oh…Oh well!"

Foop was looking at the toy appraisingly. "Well...I suppose it's...alright."

"Thank your mother Foop." Anti-Cosmo didn't look up from his page.

"Oh...yes, thank you mother" He looked annoyed but then sighed in resignation as he was hugged.

"Yer welcome!"

After she let go, Foop flew off holding onto his new toy. Looking more interested with it then he was a moment ago. "Come Cecil, let us plot our world domination!"

"Awww" Anti-Wanda flew back over to the desk. "He likes it."

Anti-Cosmo glances over as Foop was now 'flying' the toy in the air. Evil plans put aside as he played.

"Yes, it seems he does."

"He's just so cute…. Where's the camery!" Anti-Cosmo sighed but with a small smile as he poofed up a camera for his wife.

"Thank's Anti-Cossie!" Anti-Wanda grabbed the camera out of the air. Leaning over, she gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before flying over to try and capture a picture of their son playing.

Anti-Cosmo fully intended to go back to work. But after a moment he glanced down at his papers, and then glanced over to where after taking a picture, Anti-Wanda was poofing up some pillows to help create a doom fortress for the vulture. He shook his head and then put the papers away before appearing next to her.

He did have _some_ time to spare after all.


	4. Chapter 4: Unsettling

**Title**: Unsettling

**Characters**: Anti-Cosmo, Anti-Wanda

**Prompt**: 006 Trust

**Word Count**: 319

**Rating**: K+

**Summary**: Why does she trust him so much?

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Fairly Odd Parents

**Notes**: Um, fluff/angst...flangst?

* * *

There is something about her eyes that annoys him. No, not annoy...unsettles. They unsettle him. It takes him a while to realize why this is. And when he does, he quickly wishes he hadn't. When he looks in her eyes, he can see the absolute trust she has in there for him and that unsettles him more than anything. She shouldn't trust him; she shouldn't _want_ to trust him. They're both Anti-Fairies after all; they were born to be bad luck and just general annoyances to the world in general.

The world they deal with is full of fairies that represent everything that is wrong and horrid. Counterparts to the good and noble fairies that reside in the next world over. And he is head of it all. Leader of all the traitorous, back stabbing and malevolent Anti-Fairies that he can find. And yet...she trusts him above anyone else.

He tries to tell himself that it's because she's an idiot. The only reason she trusts him is because he wants her to trust him. He's the one with the power. He can manipulate her to do whatever he wants.

But then she'll smile at him and kiss him affectionately as they fly down a corridor and he admits to himself that this isn't true. He admits to himself that he _likes_ being trusted by her. He needs to be trusted by her, even if he won't admit _that _to himself. He won't admit any of this to anyone. Just mull over it silently at night when he should be sleeping or working on another plot.

And so she continues to look at him with those trusting eyes and he continues to pretend that he doesn't care. Just keeping these thoughts in the back of his mind, wondering if someday he'll do something unforgivable that will make that trust disappear and what he'll be forced to realize if it does.


End file.
